06.12.06

1:49 a.m.

road trip that will never happen

Tomorrow is the day I'm supposed to start summer classes.

Supposed to.

Iím not going to take any classes.

Once again, Iíve failed. I couldnít even try.

I want to run away, but I canít. I have to repay the student loans I took out this semester because they wouldnít let me have my scholarship money in the first place.

I spent lots of it already paying off credit card bills and buying things for school.

Why do I have to ruin everything?

If for some miraculous reason I donít have to pay back the part of the loan that was already disbursed to me, this is what I want to do.

Panda Trip

Alone.

Maybe Iíll gain some self esteem. Maybe Iíll reconcile all the things that make me hate myself. Maybe Iíll find out who I really am.

Maybe.

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pandaaaaaaaaaaaa

I'm Not Dead, I Swear

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