Umm..Happy Mother's Day?Just in time to celebrate Masturbation May, my mother found Bob*, my battery operated boyfriend. It's my fault really. I was careless. I forgot I didn't live alone anymore. I went to wash him in the bathroom, and left him there to dry. I forgot about him and went to the gym. My mother arrived home before me, and kindly placed him in front of my computer.
Just shoot me.
Why must I be 25 and live at home still?
Wait. Why must I be single, 25, and live at home still?
*Just a quick question - why do they include testicles on vibrators?