06.04.04
12:10 a.m.
Sex & Oragel
I�ve been bored tonight. I decided to refresh my memory on HTML and what exactly I put in this diary. My handy little site meter led me to hours of fun � ok, realistically about 30 minutes. I can see what search results led people my way; I thought I�d share this little bit of entertainment with you.�Sexy hermaphrodite� or variants:
People must be insanely curious about them. More than half of the searches included hermaphrodite. The other 50% included sex references. This one encompasses both queries. Either there isn�t a lot of published information on hermaphrodite sex, or I�m the leading expert.
�Seatbelt boobs�:
I can tell you...they aren�t pleasant.
�Dog sex�:
Eww. I don�t even want to be associated with this phrase. Is there a way to exclude myself from these searches?
�American sex life�:
Since when did I become so � apple pie?
�Sleeping passed out sex�:
I�m beginning to see a pattern here.
�Menthol cigarettes are gay�:
Sure...why not?
�Oscar Meyer Bologna Song�:
It�s number 2 on Google. Probably, because my dumb ass spelled it wrong. I went to the page, and I find it amusing that in the same entry I misspelled Oscar Mayer, I talk about J complimenting my intelligence. I had the urge to change it, but resisted due to the irony of the whole entry.
�I ruined my life�:
Yes...yes I did. Must you keep reminding me?
�Dirty dishrag�:
As in dirty, or dirty?
Anyhow, these engrossed me for awhile. The sex references seem to fit my mood lately. I think I�ve proposed to at least 7 people this week. Four accepted. The others � well, screw them. I try to unleash my domestic side and what do I get? Nothing. All I was really looking for was guilt-free marital sex. Ooh...maybe that will be my next Google hit.
