2:31 a.m.

i'm a thief

See, I don't mean to be, but I am.

I'm just a poor college student, and I wanted the good apples. But, the good apples were $2.99 a pound. And a pound consisted of 2.5 apples.

That's like...um...$1.20 an apple.

The cheap apples however were a mere 5 for $2.00.

And my kickass math skills tell me that's only $.40 an apple. You could buy 3 whole cheap apples for the price of one yummy apple. (Don't ever tell me you'll never use math in the real world.)

So, I planned my crime. I memorized the code for the cheap apples, then placed 5 of the yummy apples in a bag and continued to shop.

As I began my self checkout, I felt pangs of guilt. What if I get caught? I could just say I misread the label. They can't prove anything; I am actually paying for the apples.

I managed to pull it off without screaming "I'm a thief! Arrest me!" at the top of my lungs.

And, you wanna know a secret? I'd probably do it again.

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