05.23.02

11:28 p.m.

Euthanize me, please

Today is my mommy's birthday. I won't divulge her age. We'll just say she's officially over the hill.

We both went over to my grandmother's house. She fixed a damn good meal. I ate more than my share. Of course, what's new? Anyway, after dinner the "old folks" sat around and discussed their ailments. I sat listening to them complain of hip problems, bowel movements (very appetizing), cholesterol, clogged arteries, balding and breast cancer.

Is this what I have to look forward to? Am I going to go bald, blind and lose my boobs by the time I'm 50? As I was pondering this, I thought people should have the option of euthanasia. Who wants to spend the last years of their life suffering and praying to die. We choose to help our pets die comfortably...what about ourselves?

So, if sometime in the distant future you find me locked in a nursing home, not enjoying life. Please call the vet. I'd like to be euthanized.

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