7:29 a.m.

I'm willing to sacrifice anything to prove it.

It's 7:30am and again I haven't slept.

My head is pounding and I feel sick to my stomach from worry and guilt and sadness.

I have to stop living in the past and re-living the bad things that other people have done to me and start focusing on the loving the amazing person I have right in front of my eyes or I'm going to lose him. My past experiences with people can't affect the current ones any more; I have to stop hurting the people I love because of something someone did to hurt me. It's not fair.

How do you prove to someone that you love them beyond words? How do I prove that my actions don't reflect how I feel/think about them and apologize and make up for not realizing how much I was hurting them by hating myself?

I pray that he doesn't give up on me. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and the kindest, gentlest, caring soul and I love him more that I can even begin to describe. He makes me happy just by being. Just the thought that he's there, that he exists and he loves me, helps it be easier to get through the day. He makes me want to be happy and a better person for him - because he deserves to be happy, too.

How do I make this up to him and let him know that I want nothing more than to make him as happy as he makes me?

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