5:36 p.m.

My stomach is in knots

I'm in such a foul mood today. I hate when people blame it on PMS, but that's totally what it is.

I hate being a girl.

Yesterday sucked, and I overreacted to everything. I don't think I'm smart enough to be an engineer anymore. I think I'll switch to underwater basket weaving instead.

I'm afraid that if I'm not perfect - when I'm like this and angry and upset and irrational and retarded that he won't love me anymore. And while I know that's stupid because he's an amazing person, I can't help but think it because it's what I've been trained to believe and no one has ever proven it wrong.

I just want to be perfect for him and I feel like I'm failing on a daily basis.

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