12:23 a.m.

Secrets are like snowflakes that melt into your memory

It's been over a year since I've heard Sam's voice.

We've exchanged emails and instant messages, but that's all.

Even those are becoming sparse. And it's killing me because I still love him. I still love him just as much as I did over a year ago. And it's just so disheartening to come to the conclusion that even though he says he loves me, it can't possibly be true.

And I've known this for a long time. I wanted so badly to believe that the words he said were true and that he did still love me.

But even I know that if you love someone you don't treat them this way. I'm a secret. His girlfriend hates me and thinks I don't exist in his life anymore.

But he loves me, right?

I'm a fucking joke. My entire life is a fucking joke.

It's just tonight I really need someone to love me, and there is no one.

I don't think there ever will be.

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