11.16.07
3:08 a.m.
Sentimental phooey
Time is flying so quickly. I remember being 18 and feeling as if time stood still, or at least moved painstakingly slow through a viscous liquid. I wished for nothing more than to be an adult and move on with my life.Days blur together and before I know it a month has passed. Thanksgiving is next week and the year is almost complete.
Do not believe the old adage that time flies when you are having fun. Time flies when you are miserable and overworked, too.
Slipping away so quickly while you try to grasp on and create a few more memories of your 'youth' so that you can look back and remember them fondly.
Except I have no fondly to remember. I'm trying to make a fondly, but time is moving too quickly for me to properly prepare and execute a fondly.
Then I realized that this - this insanely chaotic life filled with 18 hour days spent on campus with strangers that have become family,is my fondly. I can not imagine my life without them. A dysfunctional family filled with boys that aren't even contemplating their fondly yet.
For the first time in a very long time, I am connected. I belong.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't laugh until my sides hurt. Will I ever laugh like this, with every fiber in my being, again? I realize our giddiness is nothing more than sleep deprived and stress induced delusions, but I can't help but question who else but these people will understand the subtle jokes that we share with nothing more than a nod or a glance? Will I ever feel this connected again?
And now I realize why people want to hold on to their college days. Why they want to re-live them and cling to the memories that fade too quickly. And though my college days are different than most, and I don't have the traditional college memories of dorm rooms and underage drinking, I still have my college days.
And I want time to slow down. I want time to get caught in a sea of molasses so that I can remember every painstakingly hard, but rewarding, moment.
I wish for nothing more than to be 28 forever and stop time.
