2:52 a.m.

Because I know you love feeling superior, too

Jackie is making a half-assed attempt towards getting her associates degree, only because the state is paying for it. She says she plans on transferring to a four year university to get her degree in geography. Then she plans on becoming an elementary school teacher.

Yes, a teacher.

Anyway, she's taking all of her classes online so that everyone else can do all her work. Her husband takes the math exams for her. They're online, so how hard does the community college really intend to make getting a degree? That whole '80% of life is showing up' theory definitely plays out in community colleges. You don't really need a brain, you just need to show up.

Ok, so I'm getting all rant-y again. The point is that Jackie sent me a draft of a paper she has to do for a marketing class. I'll spare you the whole thing, though I can guarantee you would laugh. She's 'pitching' a new idea for those stupid traveling gnome commercials. She thinks the gnome should have a wife. And baby gnomes.

Yeah. Whatever.

So here is my favorite line from the whole paper regarding an African safari themed ad:

In the four ground would be the gnome family smiling and having fun and eating breakfast and in the black ground would be a lion and tiger and koala all the animals you would expect to sea in a african safari.

Now, this isn't the most amusing sentence grammar-wise by far. However, I just couldn't stop laughing at the thought of all those African koalas and pesky African tigers.

Maybe I'm wrong and these things really exist? It wouldn't be the first time I've made an ass out of myself, that's for sure. Speaking of being positive of something, according to Jackie that means being 'fore shore'.

This is what will be teaching your children someday. We have such high expectations of our teachers; no wonder Asia is kicking our ass in education.

So basically, I'm only staying acquaintances with her because it amuses me. Her husband informed me that I should be worried about being replaced because she's made a new friend at work. I honestly can't say I feel threatened - or sad.

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