1:54 a.m.

low blow

I've decided to tell her. I can not live with my conscious any longer. I know she will hate me, and I'm ok with that.

It will make me feel better about myself, and the type of person I strive to be. I am not the type of girl to sleep with someone's fiance. I'm not the type of girl to find out about it and then keep my mouth shut. I'm not the type of girl that I hate.

I wanted to know. I wanted someone to blatantly tell me that Jeremy was scum, so that I could not deny it any longer.

I know she's not me, and I know that I'm not going to get any rewarding feeling from this, and quite honestly I will probably feel pretty shitty about it for a long time. But, I do know that it's the only thing I can do.

I have created a new MySpace profile, and I will delete it shortly after I send her the letter. I have come to realize that he probably doesn't even know my last name. I don't recall ever telling him, and I doubt he cared enough to actually remember if I did mention it. He has my email address, but probably has deleted and forgotten my cell number. He doesn't know where I live, so it's not like he can come kill me. Yes, I have thought about that because you never know what people are capable of.

I won't answer the phone if he calls, and I will delete all emails if he sends any. I am done with him and with her after this, and what they do with their lives doesn't concern me anymore.

I really want to put this as my profile picture, but even I know that it's just a low blow so I won't.


Now, if I can just grow the balls to write a compassionate yet honest letter.

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