12:42 p.m.

you were right

So, It's official, I'm quite the pathetic person.

He didn't call and his phone is disconnected. It's been disconnected since Thursday, and I knew instantly, for sure, that I had been dumped in the cruelest, unkindest, chicken shit way.

And yet, I still feel that it is my fault. I was completely myself with him, just said what I meant and didn't censor myself, nor my thoughts, at all. And this is what happens when I do that. This is what happens when I am happy and I tell people about it. This is what happens when I boast about my life and my happiness.

I wish I would've just followed my first instinct and not gone on the date at all.

I'm ok now, I've accepted it and I'm ok. I'm going to write him an email, and I don't know what I'm going to say exactly, but I'm going to make it clear that there are no hard feelings and that I wish him nothing but happiness and success and that I do not hate him. Because I think that is being the bigger person, and that is being the adult, and that will give him the least satisfaction if he's truly an asshole and enjoys this.

Which still, even in retrospect, I can't thoroughly believe.

Anyway, I have a date tomorrow, but I think I may cancel....

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