12.22.06
1:07 a.m.
secrets
I've felt sick for the past few days.My head hurts, my tummy aches, and I feel knotty and sick inside.
I've been keeping a secret. I've been purging lately.
A lot.
Like every day.
Multiple times.
I'm falling into my old sleeping patterns - I don't go to sleep until 2:00 or 3:00am, and I wake up after noon.
I'm stressed and scared. This has been the worst semester I've had, I missed so many classes and the week before finals I was living in my car.
Looking for an apartment has me scared out of my mind. I'm not afraid to be alone, but I am. I'm afraid that when I'm alone I'll just self destruct. At least when I'm here I can't binge and purge whenever I choose.
What am I going to do when I'm all alone and have no one to stop me from myself?
I feel very lonely and I'm not even alone yet.
