10.29.06
10:37 p.m.
graveyard
I went for a bike ride with Andy today, and it was nice and relaxing. After it was done of course; during it was strenuous and hell. Well worth it, though.After the bike ride, I went to the grave yard. When I was younger and my parents were going through their divorce, I would go to the cemetery at least once a week. I didn't tell anyone because it made me seem morbid, but it was anything but.
There's a silence that you can only get in a cemetery. Especially in the older sections of the cemetery, there's a deafening silence where it seems that even the wildlife ceases to rustle.
I've always enjoyed it there and felt at peace. My grandfather is buried there, but I only make a brief stop at his site. I like the older ones. The ones that their relatives forgot, or their relatives no longer exist.
I adopted a grave when I was 17, and I would bring flowers and keep it clean. It was a baby, and it was all alone. There were no graves near it, and I felt like it was my duty to remember, or take care of it, or to pay my respects, or...I don't know. Something. Anything.
I thought maybe if I took care of her, someone would do the same for me a hundred years after my death.
It's been over a year since I've been to the cemetery, but I went to find Ethel's grave.
There's more than a few graves of children in the old section. I realize why, but it's still sad. I used to visit this grave, too. Though I can't remember her name, and time has erased it as well.
I can't help but wonder who leaves the toys and flowers there. Is it a relative, or a person like me who just feels the need to care for someone that everyone else forgot? I've never seen another soul around when I visit, and I can tell that the toys and flowers have been faded by time. I wonder how often they visit her.
After I was done in the older section I walked around the newer graves, too. It's interesting to see the different stones and epitaphs. And the way some people decorate their loved ones grave stones is truly strange sometimes.
We had a huge storm a few days ago and lots of tree branches were broken. It's a little disheartening that none of them were picked up at the cemetery.
I cleared a few off of the graves. I figured it was the least I could do.
I've never been afraid of the graveyard, and I like going there. Is that weird? I'm sure it's not normal, but is it really creepy?
I think it's peaceful.
