1:23 a.m.

down the drain

Three weeks, five days and 17 minutes, and I flushed it down the drain.

You know, it's not like it was a particularly bad day or anything. I just caved.

I don't know why.

I feel overwhelmed, but I've felt worse - a few days ago - and I didn't cave.

I feel like a failure. I feel like I keep putting off getting better, getting fit, feeling good. Like I'm waiting for that perfect time to start living again.

I'll do it tomorrow.

I'll do it on Monday.

I'll do it the first of the month.

Fuck it. I'm doing it now. I'm sick of living like this. I'm sick of hating every inch of my body - and there are a lot of inches. I'm sick of having no energy and such low self esteem.

I'm sick of everything.

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