3:33 a.m.


Iím exhausted, both physically and mentally.

Anna, Jackieís new baby, is quite adorable. I honestly donít think Iím biased, either. Mainly because there were a few hours right after she was born that I doubted the cuteness.

Her birth was quite uneventful Ė at least for her husband, Scott, who slept through half of it. Her mother didnít even show up until 15 minutes before she gave birth. Why was I the only one there and awake the entire time? Itís not my baby.

Anyway, Iíve been avoiding writing. This birth has me feeling nothing but inadequate.

I have nothing to show for my life. My accomplishments are intangible. Once Iíve graduated, no one will care what my GPA was. And really, thatís all Iíve got going for me.

Iíve still yet to work these feelings out Ė which is why Iíve been avoiding writing here. I think deep down, Iím ashamed about how I really feel. I guess Iím just jealous.

But, Iím tired now and all I want to do is crawl into my bed, cry, and sleep.

Below are some pictures. (Beware; the last one is quiteÖumÖgraphic. But not in the way youíre thinking right now.) Sheís jaundiced, so thatís why she looks like a pumpkin.

First Check-Up


The doctor said I was the only one who ever asked for this picture. She was so excited that I did.


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