1:34 a.m.


There are a lot of things that I havenít told anyone and that I've never admitted. I think part of my problem is that I keep everything inside until I can't take it anymore and I feel so out of control and lost.

The whole point of this diary was so that I could admit everything Ė even stuff that I was ashamed of; in some ways I have.

But I still have my secrets. There are secrets I try to keep to myself and some that I try to keep from myself.

Iím going to let them out. I think itís the only way that Iíll eventually be ok.

Starting today.

This is the place that Iíve purged every single day, sometimes multiple times daily, for more than 8 months.


I donít purge in the toilet, because Iíve told myself that itís disgusting.

I know that this is worse and that all the bleach and cleaner and lemons and ice cubes and baking soda will not make it any better.

Starting today Iím done.

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