02.13.06
2:51 a.m.
back in the ussr
It�s 2:51am and I�m up watching calculus lectures. I haven�t gone to a single class all week. Although, I do prefer it this way. I can rewind, watch it again, pause, go pee, come back and start yet again. I think it helps me comprehend a bit more. It also helps me procrastinate more.I�m the queen of procrastination.
It�s like I can�t perform unless I�m in a serious time crunch and under such pressure my heart threatens to explode. But, that�s when I do my best work.
I swear. I am so fucked up.
Also, I�ve been procrastinating about asking my other professor for help in my linear algebra class. I feel so damn retarded that I don�t get something called ELEMENTARY linear algebra. I skipped a class last week, and I think it did me in. It was the start of a new section, and now I�m completely lost. Would someone like to explain axioms 1 and 6 of vector spaces to me?
Anyway, I�m not sure how to ask for help. I�m not really good at it, and I have a slight crush on my teacher. It�s not really a crush on him, because, well�he�s 40 and not very attractive. And married with a kid.
Proof: 
Yes, that�s a Mr. Rogers-ish sweater he�s wearing.
So, it�s a crush on the accent. In case you haven�t noticed, I�m a bit obsessed about it. I have dreams of marrying the accent and reproducing little Draculas with cute little Russian accents.
I have a thing for any accent really. Well, let me rephrase: Any foreign accent. (This includes Canada, but not the southern United States nor certain regions of Mexico)
Some well paid psychologist will somehow attribute this to my father being from Germany and having a heavy German accent, but it�s faded throughout the years, and I don�t even notice it anymore. So, there.
Now, back to the problem. If I ask him for help I�ll just sit there dreamily staring at the paper trying hard to decipher any mathematical words from his accent all the while dreaming of baby Draculas. (Do they start off as baby bats?) But, he�s the only one who can help me because I�ve already went to the math help center and they�re pretty much useless unless it�s a calculus question.
So, I have to get over my crush, pay attention and think of bad Russian things like the cold war, communism and mail order brides to help deter my indecent thoughts.
But not vodka, because that�s a damn good Russian export.
