11.27.05

5:11 p.m.

why?

I just got off the phone with my father. And his girlfriend.

He's been dating her for two and a half years, and I've never met her. It's ok with me, I prefer it that way. I met his last girlfriend, and I really liked her. Which, honestly, surprised me. They broke up because he wouldn't marry her. He said he's never going to get married again, and she would just have to accept it. I thought it was fair until she dumped him for not marrying her. I told him he should just suck it up and do it, because I really liked her, but he said it was too late while crying on the phone with me one afternoon.

Now, he calles me at 5pm on a Sunday night, which he's never done, and says that 'Nancy' and him had a conversation about her never meeting me.

And that he plans on marrying her.

Um, what?! I thought you weren't getting married again?

Then he faltered a bit and mumbled and I could tell she was right there. So, I just kept talking. About school, and when I can come up there, and how busy I was, and blah, blah, blah.

Then he said she wanted to talk to me.

Um, ok.

So she gets on the line and blah, blah, blah. I can't wait to meet you. Blah, blah, blah.

Then she mentions they go to the casino's all the time. And, they're going to Vegas this December. Hasn't your father told you?

No.

I wanted to tell her. You fucking moron. That's why he got divorced in the first place. That's why I don't have the house that I grew up in anymore. That's why the house was foreclosed on and they filed bankruptcy. That's why I lived in a car. That's why I dropped out of school. That's why I don't have a family. You fucking cunt.

But I didn't. I pretended to be happy and sweet and actually interested in what she said.

My father got on the phone after and sounded uncomfortable. I'm sure I'll get a call tomorrow to explain it all.

But for now, I just want to cry. I don't know why it upset me so much. But, it did.


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