12:44 a.m.

first day

It's late. Very late. And, I'm exhausted. Today, as I had suspected, wasn't the end of the world.

I did think it was going to be the end of my non-smoking days, but I held out. This is the first time since I've quit that I've really craved one. I almost went out and asked a complete stranger for one, but I didn't. I'm actually quite proud of myself for that.

Currently, I'm sitting at Jackie's table tippity-typing on my laptop. I wish the keyboard wasn't so smooshed together. If I don't correct my typing, my sentences look like this:

Hello, how have you been?

Wel loook at that I didsn't evenv mess up on the stupidgtsd sentencee. (But this one made up for it)

Anyway, I'm sure I'll get used to it eventually.

I have two very large classes (100+ students) this semester and we're using a 'clicker'. It's basically a remote control jeopardy thing. Yay! I love game shows, I'm gonna kick everyone's asses this semester.

Although, in all reality I'm still quite scared. The xanax I took mid-morning did help calm my nerves. I'm taking quite the math heavy course load - of course, that's what I wanted isn't it?! I'm afraid I may fail. Or, worse yet completely hate my major. What would I be if I wasn't going to be an engineer?! Nothing would be good enough to not be considered a failure.

I'm literally dilusional at the moment. As you probably could tell from my lack of coherency. So, I will sleep and dream and think happy thoughts - for tomorrow I start anew - again.

Nighty night

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