10:08 p.m.


Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t die from my stubbed toe injury. Too bad for you.

I have been preoccupied with the best gym on the planet – mine.

My favorite characters that belong to my gym:

• A weight lifting midget. The guy is built.

• An old man who wears a spandex jumpsuit and rubber boots. He always looks a little happy to see everyone, too. If you know what I mean.

• A really slutty girl that EVERYONE makes fun of. The girl wears shorts so short that I literally saw her tampon sting. And, she doesn’t have the body to pull it off, either.

• The overweight trainer. Bless his heart, he tries.

And then… then there is my arch nemesis. She doesn’t have a name – well, I’m sure she does, but I don’t know it – so I refer to her as Asian Lady. She’s no more than 5’ tall, and she’s probably pushing 50, if not 60. But damn her, she pushes me to my limits. The bitch does the treadmill, elliptical, and bike for an hour each. And, me being me, will be damned if I let her outdo me. So, I am forced to do it, too.

She doesn’t know she’s my arch nemesis. Or, maybe she does and she’s just playing coy. Arch Nemesises are good at that. She ‘coincidently’ happens to be at the gym EVERY day and time I’m there, no matter when I go. But, I also have a tendency to think people are out to get me.

I had to smuggle my camera phone into the gym to take these for you. Just so you can see the evil she exudes…

Arch Nemesis 2

Arch Nemesis

Anyway, she’s been monopolizing my time, hence the lack of updates. Sorry. I’ll try harder.

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