05.23.05
7:07 p.m.
Ten things I wish I didn�t know:
1. The fear of not being perfect - at everything.
2. What it feels like to eat so much you can barely move.
3. That food looks almost exactly the same after it�s been in your stomach for 10 minutes.
4. What it feels like to fast for almost a month.
5. What it feels like to run on the treadmill, ride the bike, and use the elliptical 10 hours in one day.
6. The devastating feeling of stepping on a scale and gaining, even though you exercised non-stop and didn�t eat more than 2000 calories the entire week.
7. What it�s like to be so obsessed with food, it�s all you can think about.
8. Knowing the calorie count of everything from a pea to a McDonald�s Big Mac.
9. What it�s like to completely hate yourself.
10. Knowing that what I�m doing to myself is wrong, unhealthy and abusive. But, not being able to stop.
