02.14.05
11:59 a.m.
unValentine's Day
Yet another Valentine�s Day alone.I�m used to it.
J never celebrated it. Something about giving bologna or something. I so don�t miss him. At all.
In other relationships, we�d always break it off before Valentine�s Day.
I guess I did most of the breaking�most of the pushing away.
I feel that if I let myself love someone, I�ll be powerless. Get hurt. The minute I feel it coming on, I push and push and push until they leave. Until I become so unbearable they don�t want me anymore.
I suppose most people are afraid to be hurt. But, most people are willing to risk it.
I guess I�m not there yet.
Someday.
Maybe.
I bought myself flowers today.
No use in waiting for someone else to do it.
