11:44 p.m.


When I was living in Pueblo I’d frequently get flyers and brochures conspicuously placed on my door. I could see the ‘fire of hell red’ paper sticking out of my door handle – even from the street. Oddly enough, they were always printed on red, yellow, or orange paper. The colors of the devil I suppose.

They’d preach of sin and eternal damnation. Fortunately, God had a plan for me, and I wasn’t going to hell. If I’d only come to the next scheduled worship (and donate 45% of my paycheck) I’d be saved.

Needless to say, I never went.

When I moved from my house into my apartment, I figured whoever was leaving these threatening notes would give up and start hounding the next fornicating sinner. However, the pamphlets soon started appearing again.

I could never figure out if it was one person who was trying to mess with my head, or if it was just random, and I’d been the unlucky recipient of more than my share of ‘blessings’.

Since I’ve moved back to the Springs, I haven’t been inundated with the word of God. Well, at least not with pamphlets.

Until a few months ago…

Click on the pictures to read all about how and why I (and every single one of you) am going to hell.

I particularly enjoy how murder has moved down the list. I guess oral sex, pride, and women wearing shorts are more prevalent sins.

At least this one isn't red. That's progress, right?

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