09.08.04
12:18 a.m.
Eulogy
You were a good dog.But, there comes a time when your spirit is stronger than your frail body. I couldn�t watch you suffer needlessly to pacify my own selfish desire. You gave selflessly to me. You listened intently when I needed to vent. You consoled me silently with your wise mahogany eyes. Your altruistic ways kept me from harm when I was ten and home alone...and every day since. You never wanted anything more than to make me happy. Well, except for the occasional cookie.
As I drove you to the clinic, you looked out the window. Excited just to get to go for a ride. I�m sorry I didn�t bring you more often; I forgot how much you loved car rides. I neglected a lot of things as you grew older...
I carried you in the clinic, crying. Not for you, but for me. I knew in my heart you�d be better off. But what about me? What am I supposed to do without you? How can I get up each morning and not see you? How can I take the other dogs for a walk without you? I�m sure they�ll notice your absence, too.
As the thick pink solution flowed into your vein, your head fell slowly in my lap. I�ve done this hundreds of times before...it�s nothing new. Yet, this was different. This was my decision. This was a culmination of my actions, not someone else�s. Of course, you had to make it hard. You had to fight to stay alive. You kept breathing...forced us to do a cardiac stick. Of course, you were gone by then. It was just the mechanics of your body slowly coming to a stop. You didn�t feel any pain then. That�s what I have to tell myself. That�s what everyone has to tell themselves when this happens, right?
As I placed your limp, lifeless body in the black trash bag, I wept again. But this time, it was for you. For the things you�ll miss. For the suffering I�d put you through. For everything you and I will never experience again.
