10:37 p.m.


Today was a productive day off. I successfully spent $287 and wasted most of the day on campus. I took Jackie along - well, because I知 codependent.

$250 of the $287 was for my parking pass. Yes, $250 for a freaking parking pass. The worst part, I couldn稚 charge it to my student account, it came straight out of my pocket. I知 a little upset about it. But, alas, being pissed isn稚 going to change the world, so no use dwelling on it, right? Umm, yeah.

After running from building to building getting all my ducks in a row, we went to lunch. While eating we had this ingenious idea to remove all unwanted body hair. I started it by complaining (how unusual) about my eyebrows; they were starting to resemble hedges, and I知 pretty sure I saw a bird outside eyeing them as a nesting place.

Flash forward to me sitting in the chair having scalding wax smeared millimeters from my eyeballs. I sat there wondering why I was putting myself through this pain. Is my view of the world so skewed that I think smaller eyebrows will make me irresistible? Am I really so shallow as to torture myself for beauty? Have I finally succumbed to the influence of the evils of Hollywood? Apparently, yes; I知 shallow. Follow my logic: Not having a unibrow makes me feel better about myself, which in turn makes me happier. When I知 happier, I知 a nicer person. When I知 a nicer person, I don稚 call people dorks and squash their dreams, then run for the nearest exit. In retrospect, if I had just waxed my eyebrows prior to my last blind date, I could be married and the proud owner of an 82 DeLorean.

Keep in mind; I did all of these things with a brown stain the size of a nickel on my face. Maybe I知 not so shallow.

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