08.04.04
5:00 p.m.
Snips �n snails �n puppy dog tails....
I just need the snips and snails. Then I'll have the ingredients for making a little boy. I already have the puppy dog tails; I�ve procured those today. I�m thinking about selling them on e-bay.We docked the tails and removed the dewclaws of eight, 3 day old Rottweiler puppies today. I loathe doing it. The little guys scream and carry on for a long time. Of course, I would, too. The screams - they're haunting.
Note: Silver nitrate sticks are used to chemically cauterize wounds. If they come in contact with your skin, even for a second, they will stain it a deep brown color. It doesn�t happen right away, it usually takes at least 30 minutes before it begins to change color, and slowly darkens over the next few hours. It doesn�t burn, and you don�t even realize you�ve touched it. It doesn�t wash off, even prior to the staining; you just have to wait until your dead skin cells slough off. I�ve contemplated using this in some sort of revenge scenario. (Writing moron on someone�s forehead for example.)
Ok, thanks for the science lesson, Julie. Could you get on with it?
I mention this only because we use silver nitrate sticks when we do tail docks and dewclaws. I�ve made the mistake many times of not wearing gloves, and have ended up looking like I raided the Hershey chocolate factory, or I�m very messy in the bathroom and didn�t bother washing my hands. After 3 days of explaining why I look like I need to be taught hygiene, the stains finally fade, and the memory along with them. Today, I was smart. I remembered to don the latex gloves, and even reminded the doctor - I was so proud.
Ok, you�re getting bored. I realize. I�ll move on, but you�ll understand why all of this prefacing was necessary in a minute.
On the last little puppy, I couldn�t help myself; he was just too damn cute and cuddly. I kissed him after he was done and soothed him until he quit crying. Twenty-five minutes later, Marie, one of the receptionists, motioned to me to wipe something off my face. I tried, but she said it was still there. I wandered back to the bathroom to investigate, and there it was � a blob of brown right next to my lip. It�s about the size of a nickel now (and when you imagine having a brown nickel plastered to your face, you�ll realize just how big this is). From prior experience, I know that nothing will wash this off, and I�m just going to have to bear the taunting and staring for a few days. I�ve already been called shit-eater and brown-noser (it�s the best they could come up with so far) numerous times.
I�m having a family portrait taken on Saturday, and damn it, it better be gone by then.
