07.18.04
10:56 p.m.
Pheromones
I was standing in line at the King Soopers pharmacy today, waiting to pick up my allergy medications. This older man gets in line behind me and strikes up a conversation. Now, being completely inept at any social contact with others, I kindly nod and try to ignore him. He relents in telling me I have a �very pretty blouse� on - I�m wearing a T-shirt. He told me my hair smelled nice � eww. I distinctly got the child molester/serial killer vibe from him, and was contemplating forfeiting my place in line and running down the personal hygiene aisle. I thought that would cause a scene, and I didn�t feel like being featured on the 5 o�clock news.He continued to complement every single thing he could find to complement me on; my eyes, my pheromones (isn�t that just disturbing?), the color of my toenail polish � everything. I just said, �Thanks� and tried to ignore him. After what seemed like an eternity, I was finally the next person in line. I suddenly felt something in my hair � it was his creepy old man hands. This psycho actually picked up my hair and tried smelling it.
Well, so much for not causing a scene. I immediately yelled at him to quit touching me, and back away. Just as I was in the midst of screaming an obscenity, the store security officer walks up with another woman. She started pointing and said, �That�s him. That�s the guy that grabbed my ass.�
I was asked to accompany the officer to their �headquarters�, which just happened to be behind the produce section. He asked me a few questions, one of which was: Do you want to press charges? Considering all the guy did was smell my hair, I said no. He had me fill out some asinine form, and sent me on my way.
I swear - I attract the oddest people. I must give off some freak attracting �pheromone�.
