06.14.04
11:10 p.m.
Jesus Loves Me
It�s common knowledge around these parts that Colorado only has two seasons...winter and construction. Today, I was stuck in a construction zone for 1 hour 13 minutes and 37 seconds (I was bored � what can I say?). It was the kind of traffic jam that aggravates me the most � the kind where you move one inch every 45 seconds. Which means you can�t put your car in park. Not that you should really put your car in park on the interstate, but it�s just easier if you do. I was stuck behind a lime green 1968 Volkswagen Bug. It had 27 bumper stickers on it(yes, I counted); at least I had good reading material. You would think owning a lime green Bug would qualify you as a liberal tree-hugging Birkenstock-wearing hippy, but apparently this guy was a right-wing religious extremist.
These were the memorable ones:
One for every republican presidential nominee in the past oh, I don�t know - 20 years
�What would Jesus do? He�d vote republican!�
�His pain, our Gain!� - Complete with a nice little drawing of Jesus on the cross.
�Experience Life at No Cost! Call 1-800-MEET-God� Which I actually got bored enough to call, but some old man answered and I lost all nerve and hung up. If someone wants to actually tell me what the guy says after �Hello� � please e-mail me.
�Annoy a Liberal - Work hard and be happy!�
�Jesus is my co-pilot�
�Proud member of the vast right-wing conspiracy�
And, my personal favorite, �Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder� � or makes me hornier, you choose.
Sorry, nothing else exciting happened today.
