04.19.08
4:51 p.m.
I'm sick of wasting time thinking about people who aren't thinking about me anymore
I've been tapering down my steroid for awhile, but my last official prednisone was on Monday. Since the tapering I've lost 21lbs.21lbs in a little over 2 weeks.
Do you realize, 1) how mind blowingly unbelievable that is, 2) how fat I am that I can actually lose that amount of weight in such a short amount of time, and 3) how fucking bloated I must have been from the steroids? My clothes are literally falling off of me.
I know that it was all water weight and that I still have a ton (literally!) to go, but it has already made me feel 10,000 times better about myself and brought back a lot of self confidence that I lost.
I have no doubt that I will be back down to a normal size in a very short period of time. I'm not so depressed and withdrawn right now, and while I still have a long way to go to get back to being me, I'm well on my way.
I know it has a lot to do with the fact that I could restart my Wellbutrin finally, but I also know that it's because I'm getting my self esteem back slowly. People don't understand how much excess weight can radically affect the way people treat you and how you feel about yourself.
But, the fact is I am a kind, caring, loving, loyal, person. I'm smart, I'm driven, and I'm focused. I will achieve everything I've ever wanted and I can't allow people who don't care about me, and give up on me when I've hit rock bottom, to make me feel like I'm unworthy of anything.
Because I am worthy. I'm awesome.
