10.17.07
2:22 a.m.
You better elect Stephen Colbert as president. He'd be better than Bush and more entertaining
I'm busy beyond belief these days. I feel like I'm being pulled in 10,000 different directions and, if needed, I could tell you the velocity at which my legs would disconnect from my body and the resultant acceleration caused by it.Well, actually, that's a lie. I studied over 30 hours in the past few days for a midterm I took today and failed it miserably. So no, I probably couldn't tell you any of those things. I failed it so miserably that I hope he gives partial credit so it raises my grade to, I don't know, a 24%?
I admit, things usually come pretty easy for me and if I actually buckle down and try, I understand it. So when I have spent at least 15 hours on each homework assignment every week, and 30 hours solely on studying for the midterm, and still do horribly? Words cannot describe the sense of failure I feel. I literally cried as I walked out of the classroom today.
The only solace I get is knowing that I'm not alone. A lot of the other students in the class feel as horrible about the test as I do. It's true: misery loves company.
I don't know, I'm just really down today. I don't think I can do this; I don't think I can be an engineer. I used to, but it's changed. This semester has beaten me down to the point where I don't think there's hope.
I do nothing but study and homework. I am at the school no less than 12 hours everyday. Including weekends. I see the boys in my classes more than their wives, yet I know nothing about most of them except their academic abilities.
Side note: Boys are getting married and having children way too young these days. Every cute boy, and even the ugly ones, are married already. Seriously boys, what the fuck? I hope you divorce soon so I can get some.
Oh! There's this cute boy, or rather he's growing cuter as I'm growing more desperate, that I'm totally going to molest some day. Get this: he's really religious and wears some sort of purity ring, so I totally know he's a virgin. I'm going to rock his world so much that he'll follow me around like a puppy. Older girls are hot, didn't you know?
Oddly enough, there is a group of six boys that all go to church together and are really religious, but are actually interesting, cool kids. I was amazed; that doesn't happen often in this town. Anyway, they're all around 23 and all of them are engaged or married.
I'm so snagging the last single, engineering boy in the world before he gets snatched up. Damn it, I will not die alone. And, he's brilliant, so he can do my homework for me.
Anyway, on with the whining:
So, I don't get to talk to anyone that isn't somehow tangentially related to engineering, so when I do I have nothing to talk about. I have become a dull, boring person. I have become like those mommies that have nothing to talk about except the color of Timmy's snot. I have become everything I loathe. However, I do not talk non stop about school, I just have nothing else to talk about so I sit there awkwardly in silence. I refuse to be like Timmy's mommy.
Speaking of annoying mommies, Jackie called me the other day and left a voice mail in which she sounded so excited. So excited in fact, that I could tell it was something she couldn't wait to rub in my face.
My sixth sense didn't fail me. I called her back to find out she bought a brand new SUV. A huge, gas guzzling, arrogant, I'm-better-than-you-get-out-of-my-way, self-centered SUV. She traded in her minivan because it made her feel 'like an old, un-hip mom'.
Newsflash, you are.
So, her husband's checks are being garnished again for back taxes - $1,000 a month for 28 months - they have her mother buy the groceries and pay the electric in their house because she holds their daughter over her parents' heads. Yet she has satellite TV, a cable internet connection, a Netflix account and 2 brand new gas guzzling I'm-compensating-for-something vehicles. Her husband has a enormous, brand new F350 truck that gets like, 2mpg, and he commutes 90 miles a day.
When I was younger and would bitch about how spoiled she was to my father, he would always say, "you'll see; she'll get what's coming to her someday. She's going to fall flat on her face because her parents never taught her to be independent. Just have patience and you'll see her life isn't as wonderful as you think it is".
Um, hello? Where's the big fall on her face?
I'm in a foul mood, I need to go to bed. I have a huge assignment due in the morning I haven't done yet because I was too busy studying for a midterm I failed.
Send happy vibes my way please, I need them. I need them so badly, you have no idea.
