12.14.06
12:28 a.m.
guilt
I just got home from Mark's house. I feel very guilty though I can't quite put my finger on why. Or rather, I don't want to admit to myself why I feel guilty, so I'll just pretend I don't know why.Anyway, he's a nice guy and the sex has been fun, mainly because it's been everywhere but in bed. I'm not one to only have sex in the confines of a bedroom, or a house for that matter.
I just feel very slutty for having sex at all, tack on the slut factor of the kind of sex we've been having and it's amplified ten fold. I'd call it Catholic guilt, but I'm not Catholic, nor the slightest bit religious, so I guess that's not it.
Mark is a very polite person to everyone, he's quite cute, he's smart, he kicks ass in the sex department, he's independent and has a good career already, but I damn well know that he's not the one I'm going to spend my life with and it makes me feel very guilty. In fact, I'm positive I would've never went out with him again if it wasn't for the urging from several people to give him another chance because he's so fucking perfect on paper.
But there are times, times when harsh words are said, and I know that what I'm doing is wrong.
