08.29.06

12:30 a.m.

advice please

I know they say that your friendship will change when your best friend has a child, but I�ve really tried not to let it. I didn�t want to be blamed for the end of a friendship, and I�ve tried my damnedest to make this friendship work.

I�ve read articles and websites and books, and they all blame the single child-free girl for being �jealous�. That it�s all my fault, and that the poor little single girl can�t fathom how wonderful life is with a child and how bleak it must seem to not have a family and blah, blah, blah.

It always says it�ll be my fault that the friendship ends. Just to spite everyone I�ve made damn sure it�s not my fault.

Jackie called me yesterday, the first time since our argument. She acted like it never happened, and I just went along with it so I wouldn�t be the one ending our friendship.

She called to inform me that her and Jess, one of my friends from the clinic, are bringing their babies to Toddler Time on Tuesday. And, then on Wednesday they�re going to a reading group, and on Thursday they�re going to try swimming lessons for the babies. Oh, and on Saturday Jackie is having a �Couples Only� dinner party, �So, of course, I can�t invite you. It�s more of a family thing, and since you don�t even have a boyfriend, it wouldn�t be any fun for you.�

Oh, but Jess, her husband, and her baby are going.

Just so I know.

And she and Jess have SO much in common. It�s just great talking to someone who knows what it�s like to have a family.

The sad thing is that I know she just called to be a cunt and rub it in. In an hour and a half she didn�t once ask me how I was, or what I was doing, or how school was going. There wasn�t a single question posed to me.

And I know this is how she is, and I know that she is purposely trying to upset me, or hurt me, or make me jealous. I know she�s a liar, and tells these people what a great mother she is, and never a mention of shoving the child in front of the TV for hours upon hours.

The thing that really pisses me off is that I�m not jealous, but I�m sad. I feel like I�m in third grade again and I wasn�t invited to Jackie�s slumber party because she was mad at me that weekend. Then on Monday, everyone will be talking about it and I�ll be left out.

Why? Why do I care? I don�t like children, I don�t want one � at least not in the near future � but I still feel like I�m so left out. Why do I care about something I don�t even want to be invited to?

Anyway, I need advice on that, and this:


Scam

I received one of these last year, too. I never did it because I was skeptical, though I�m not sure why � it came directly from the school. Official envelope and letterhead, too. Is it real? Should I pay $65 to join? I�m so indecisive.

Since I�m already begging for advice, why not one more thing. Do you think it�s wrong of my best friend to make me watch Borat so much that I literally cried from laughing in my Russian professor�s class because all I could picture was this:

Borat!


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