08.21.06
12:17 a.m.
anxiety sucks
Tomorrow is the first day of school. In my usual fashion, I'm freaking out.I feel lightheaded and nauseous.
Also, Jackie and I aren't speaking. She's pissed at me, and like a 3 year-old won't tell me why. She actually hung up on me. I just don't care anymore.
I am not her husband, and I'm not her mother - she will NOT treat me like she treats them. I will not be calling, or speaking to her, until she apologizes for acting like a total cunt. I know she thinks I blew her off on Saturday, but I called at least 6 times. It�s neither my fault, nor my problem, that she has creditors calling all the time and refuses to answer her phone.
Besides, she had a baby, not me. Just because she can�t find a babysitter doesn�t mean I�m going to sit at home with her and rot.
Good riddance.
Now, back to the freaking out. I took a 0.5mg xanax - which usually makes me so mellow I feel stoned - and it's done nothing. Or, it has and I'd be REALLY freaking out without it.
I'm taking another before bed, maybe then I'll be able to sleep.
GAH!