05.24.06

3:13 a.m.

10 easy steps to stalking...

So, a few people have asked about my kick ass Google skills, so I’m gonna share my strategy for being a Google enthusiast. With obvious ones first.

1. Quotation marks are your friend. “Joseph Smith” will get better results than Joseph Smith.
2. Rearrange names and use nicknames. Search for “Joseph Smith”, “Smith, Joseph”, “Smith, J”, “Smith, Joe”, “Big Bubba Smith”
3. There’s apparently a B movie/porn star with the same name as me. So, if you’re searching for me, put –porn or –movie to filter out the crap.
4. If you get lots of results, add a state or city outside the quotes to the search.
5. Your county’s Clerk and Recorder is the Google enthusiast’s best friend. You can find out if someone has applied for a marriage license, bankruptcies, birth certificates, a deed to a house, a death certificate…everything.
6. If they’ve applied for a marriage license or deed it’ll usually show their spouse’s name (Useful? You decide.)
7. If they’re military, you can go to Military.com and search for them. It shows their rank, location, and job description. Then – Clerk and Record of that town.
8. Your county’s assessor is GREAT if you wanna know how rich someone is. You can see what they paid for their house, square footage, number of bedrooms, bathrooms, garage space, year it was built, how many owners. Practically everything you ever wanted to know about a house. In fact, I found out all kinds of information on my own house – stuff I didn’t even know.
9. Locate an inmate – enough said.
10. The cached page feature is a life saver for really old sites that aren’t really there anymore.

Ok, I think that is enough to sufficiently make me look like a fucking stalker. But honestly, it’s just stuff I knew from researching regular things – not sexy Russian professors. And, I tried finding an old friend from high school and had to use several of those tips to finally get her email.

I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning. Wish me luck.


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