05.16.06

3:09 p.m.

hypocrite

I took my last final yesterday afternoon. My final final. It was my physics final, and I think I did ok.

However, I was so nervous beforehand. I get so anxious and so fucking wound up that the world is going to end if I donít know the answer to a test question. Iím sick of it.

I made an appointment at the community health center to get a prescription of Xanax and my asthma meds. I was forced to actually. Iím registered with the health center because I donít have insurance and Iím afraid that if I ever got sick Iíd have nowhere to go. Or get sued for not paying my bill (again).

But, Iíve refused to use it. I called to renew my registration, but they require everyone to be seen at least once a year. So, Iím somewhat being forced to go to the doctor. I feel guilty that Iím even registered with them.

Itís called the Colorado Indigent Care Program. Indigent. Thanks.

But I suppose I am. Indigent.

I complain about Jackie being on welfare, Medicare and every other government program that will give you money for popping out children you couldnít afford in the first place Ė which is every single one Ė but here I am on a government program.

Iím a hypocrite.

That word basically sums up my life.

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