05.08.06

3:51 a.m.

Why I hate my neighbors (part 28)

The bar was a success. As in it successfully boosted my self esteem, not that I got laid.

Not that Id want to be laid by anyone in that bar.

Its this hole in the wall bar that Jackie loves. She begged me to go to the bar with her because her mother was going to baby-sit her child overnight. Now, if I was a sleep deprived new mother I think Id savor the silence and get as much sleep as I could, but alas, Im not a new mother. Jackie wanted to drink, so I obliged.

Long story short: The place was filled with 50 year old whores trying to look seventeen. A few people looked like they were going to copulate on the dance floor. Jackie smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. This after telling her husband, while she was pregnant, that if he didnt quit shed divorce him. Because he was NOT going to smell like smoke around her baby and it was being a bad role model.

::cough hypocrite cough::

She actually said, You dont know how hard it is to quit.

Um. Ok.

Its not so much the fact that shes smoking (While breastfeeding. But hey, its her kid.). Its that my taxes are paying for her food while she spends $4 on a pack of cigarettes everyday.

Bitter? You bet.

Anyhow, I drove home. Sober. Or at least I thought I was. As I was driving home, I noticed flashing lights on top of a neighbors roof. I slowed down only to see a fucking UFO on top of the roof.

I SWEAR to god.

I drove by again today just so I could prove to myself that I wasnt crazy.

Abduct

On the other side of the lawn the one without a car in it is a HUGE wooden wolf in a howling pose. What the fuck is wrong with my neighborhood?!

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