05.08.06
3:51 a.m.
Why I hate my neighbors (part 28)
The bar was a success. As in it successfully boosted my self esteem, not that I got laid.Not that I�d want to be laid by anyone in that bar.
It�s this hole in the wall bar that Jackie loves. She begged me to go to the bar with her because her mother was going to baby-sit her child overnight. Now, if I was a sleep deprived new mother I think I�d savor the silence and get as much sleep as I could, but alas, I�m not a new mother. Jackie wanted to drink, so I obliged.
Long story short: The place was filled with 50 year old whores trying to look seventeen. A few people looked like they were going to copulate on the dance floor. Jackie smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. This after telling her husband, while she was pregnant, that if he didn�t quit she�d divorce him. Because he was NOT going to smell like smoke around her baby and it was being a bad role model.
::cough hypocrite cough::
She actually said, �You don�t know how hard it is to quit.�
Um. Ok.
It�s not so much the fact that she�s smoking (While breastfeeding. But hey, it�s her kid.). It�s that my taxes are paying for her food while she spends $4 on a pack of cigarettes everyday.
Bitter? You bet.
Anyhow, I drove home. Sober. Or at least I thought I was. As I was driving home, I noticed flashing lights on top of a neighbor�s roof. I slowed down only to see a fucking UFO on top of the roof.
I SWEAR to god.
I drove by again today just so I could prove to myself that I wasn�t crazy.
On the other side of the lawn � the one without a car in it � is a HUGE wooden wolf in a howling pose. What the fuck is wrong with my neighborhood?!
