04.21.06

2:17 a.m.

I like the word boobies

Usually, my professor looks directly at me 81% of the time when heís lecturing.

Iíve never thought much about it and actually kind of like it; it makes me pay attention. I wonder if people notice. Iím sure they do.

Anyway, today he barely glanced in my direction, and certainly didnít look directly at me. I know heís embarrassed that I caught him looking at my boobies. It was more obvious that he was avoiding looking at me than it was when he was looking at my breasts in the first place.

This whole situation is very odd.

The thing is: it hurt my feelings. What the hell is wrong with me?! I swear to God Iím so fucked in the head that it hurts my feelings that someone twice my age wonít look at me because heís embarrassed that I caught him starting at my boobies when itís completely inappropriate for him to be doing it in the first place. Then, I turn it around and make it somehow into me not being pretty/good/smart enough to warrant attention.

I am so self centered itís pathetic.

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