11.14.05

1:16 a.m.

I love you mostest

Ok, here it is: I need to quit this bulimia/anorexia/coe bullshit.

The one person I love the most in this world doesnít think I love him.

Truth be told, I think itís probably pretty hard to love me, and itís probably pretty hard to see that I love you.

This sickness is eating my brain. Itís making me crazier than I think I really am. Iíve been obsessed with my life, my food, my issues.

Iím selfish.

All I care about is me. And, my issues. And, how much Iím hurting. And, how much I hate me.

Itís probably so hard to even like me, let alone love me.

But he does.

And he deserves the respect and love and every wonderful thing in this world, because heís loved me more than anyone ever has, or probably ever will.

Heís my best friend, and Iím pushing him away. Iím going to lose him because Iím too fucking stubborn and goddamn selfish to get over myself for five fucking minutes and give a shit about another human beingís feelings.

Iím so sorry.

I love you so much.

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