family timeYesterday I had to spend a complete 5 hours with my entire family. It was my little cousin’s fourth birthday.
Anyway, two things that happened, that I can almost guarantee never happen at your family get-togethers:
1. The mailman stopped in to say hello and happy birthday to the little one. He stayed for two hours. And drank 3 beers. While in the middle of his route. And, apparently it happens all the time. No wonder there are days I don’t get my mail until 6:30pm; my mailman’s probably up the street partying.
2. My grandmother, on the ride home from Denver, bluntly says, “I have an irritated and itchy vagina.” There were four people in the car. Enough said.
Now, there were other things that probably do happen at other people’s family get-togethers. Fighting, arguing, making fun of each other, talking about Barbie sex and beer bongs and marijuana, you know – the usual.
School starts tomorrow. I'm panicking.