01.05.05

11:37 p.m.

maybe

Do you ever get the feeling that your friends donít really listen? That you give of yourself all the time, listen intently, offer a shoulder to cry on, allow time to for them to vent, celebrate with them when something good has happened or cry with them when something bad has, notice the change in their tone or attitude and react accordingly, try to be the opposite of what theyíre feeling because you know thatís what they need Ė someone to cheer them up or someone to calm them down?

And then, when you need something Ė someone to just be there - they arenít?

Or, they listen Ė for a few minutes - before switching the subject to something more pertinent to them?

Maybe Iím just feeling sorry for myself. Maybe Iím imagining this. Maybe I need to quit listening so much and blurt out, ďListen to me. I need to vent. I need to talk. I need to be heard. I need someone to give a shit. I need someone to care. I need someone to tell me Iím over reacting. I need someone to tell me Iím not dying. I need someone to tell me Iím going to be ok Ė that everything is going to be ok.Ē Maybe I need to quit caring. Itís done nothing for me.

Maybe, itís just me.

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