09.16.04

6:27 p.m.

Thoughts during Phil-112

Damn, I really wish I was having sex right now.

I wonder how many people are having sex right now. This very instant. Hmm...wonder if I could find out somehow.*

Great, now Iíve spawned an obsession. How the hell am I supposed to figure out how many people are having sex at any given point in time?

I bet it involves a parabola. Hee hee. Parabola. Wonder where that name came from.

I wish I could change my name. I think Iíd be a perfect Smith. Maybe even a Brown. Iíve always wanted to marry an Asian with a last name that starts with a P. Then, my initials would be JAP. Ha! Wait, thatís not politically correct. Damn it.

I hate philosophy. Snotty professor. Sure, Iíll address you as Dr. Professor Shithead PhD. No problem, you pretentious twit.

Wow, Iím bitter and bitchy today arenít I? Must be lack of sex. I should tally up all the times I think about sex throughout the day. Iím sure itís more than most. Wait, if I did that, Iíd probably just end up thinking about thinking about sex. My data would be skewed. Nevermind.

What the hell is that guy doing? I donít believe he just did that! I sit at these desks, too damn it. Show some respect. That is the most disgusting thing Iíve seen lately. I need some antibacterial soap. No, latex gloves.

Latex. Condoms are made of latex. Hmm...sex.

Damn it. Pay attention Julie. Youíre going to fail this stupid class if you donít listen.

Wait! What?! We have an exam next week. Whereíd that come from? That isnít on the syllabus. Great. If this stupid class makes my GPA drop, Iíll be seriously pissed. Because, you know, knowing how to classify a fallacious argument - or knowing what a paradigm of a false dichotomy is - will get me far in my career.

Maybe itíll be a question on Jeopardy some night. I can see it now...grannyíd be so impressed. Yeah, that must be all philosophy is good for. Trivia questions.

Geez. There are still 20 more minutes of class?!

I really should've worn panties today...

Uh oh...heís looking at me. What the hell did he just ask?!

Phew...that was close. Thank God there are people who just butt in and answer questions without being asked. Thank you freaky guy in the corner.

For being a PhD, the guy sure spells a lot of things wrong. Maybe he got his degree online. Through one of those spam e-mails.

I hate spam. E-mail and the ham.

Red Herring? At least I know what that is. I can spot those fallacies a mile away. Now, if only I can convince Dr. Professor Nitwit PhD to have nothing but Red Herring arguments on the test, Iíd be set.

Wow, my thoughts have been quite erratic today. I think Iíll write them on the site. Wait, then everyone will know Iím a freak. Ah...who cares.

Sex.

*According to The Penguin Atlas of Human Sexual Behavior, on any given day, sexual intercourse takes place 120 million times on earth. Thus, with 240 million people having sex daily and a world population of just under 6.1 billion, about 4% of the world's population (1 out of ever 25 people) is having or had sex today. (Damn it.)

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