09.04.04

12:20 a.m.

788,923,323..4..5..6.. seconds old

Ok, unofficially Iím 25. I wonít officially be 25 until 11:02pm tonight. Yes, Iíve employed technicalities to my advantage.

According to this site, my actual age is 33.3. The smoking kicked me up almost 4 years. However, genetics are the main reason Iíve prematurely aged. I guess I was right when I said Iíll be bald, blind and boobless by the time Iím 30. By then, my ďreal ageĒ will be 80.

In case you havenít noticed, Iím having a hard time with this. I realize itís just a day on the calendar, and I didnít age a year overnight, but itís still whittling away at my self esteem. Iíve never been this unhappy on my birthday. I just want to crawl in bed and hibernate.

I guess I just imagined Iíd be further in life than I am now. Whatever that means. When I was 18, every twenty-five year old I knew was a social reject, living at home, who spent 90% of their time with 18 year olds. I promised myself I wouldnít end up like that.

Yet, here I am; living at home, and spending 90% of my waking life with 18 year-olds.

Sigh...

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