08.11.04

9:36 p.m.

Primaries

It’s common knowledge that you have to be affiliated with either the Republican or Democratic Party to vote in the primaries. Not being the type to let an opportunity to voice my opinion pass me by, I came up with an ingenious idea. I registered as a republican.

Now before you tar and feather me, hear me out.

In life, as in football, the best offense is a good defense. I decided to become the proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing and infiltrate the very organization I loathe.

The plan: Vote for the least electable republican candidate. The most incompetent, moronic person would be elected to represent the Republican Party; hence the easily influenced masses would elect “the lesser of two evils”, a democrat, come November.

I also enjoy the feeling of voting for Nader while being registered as a republican. Now, if only I could convince others that this is a genius idea, the elections would be a lot more engrossing. Democrats would sweep “Republican” states, and the associated press would be at a loss for words.

Ah, to dream.

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