08.09.04

2:20 p.m.

I'm a cry-baby

Yesterday, John Elway was inducted into the Hall of Fame. His speech wasnít spectacular, but I was emotional anyway. I donít know why I was. Iím usually a black hole of emotion Ė nothing gets out. But, for some reason, I cried.

Today, I went to the funeral of an old neighbor and family friend. I cried. A lot. Probably more than the family. Iím not sure why. I wasnít particularly close to him, and my connection with the family has deteriorated. Nonetheless, I cried.

I think maybe Iím mourning the loss of my childhood. Recently memories have come flooding back into my mind: sitting with my entire family watching John Elway lead the Broncos to the play-offs; going to the high school football games to watch the neighborís son lead the division in rushing yards; celebrating the Fourth of July with everyone on my street. Now, thereís no way I can relive these moments. The time, along with people, has passed, and nothing will bring it back.

I live in the past - I need to start living for the future.

The Broncos play tonight. Perhaps itíll be the start of new memories, new milestones, and a new era.

Who knows, maybe Iím just emotional from my uterine contractions.

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