08.05.04

10:37 p.m.

Shallow

Today was a productive day off. I successfully spent $287 and wasted most of the day on campus. I took Jackie along - well, because I�m codependent.

$250 of the $287 was for my parking pass. Yes, $250 for a freaking parking pass. The worst part, I couldn�t charge it to my student account, it came straight out of my pocket. I�m a little upset about it. But, alas, being pissed isn�t going to change the world, so no use dwelling on it, right? Umm, yeah.

After running from building to building getting all my ducks in a row, we went to lunch. While eating we had this ingenious idea to remove all unwanted body hair. I started it by complaining (how unusual) about my eyebrows; they were starting to resemble hedges, and I�m pretty sure I saw a bird outside eyeing them as a nesting place.

Flash forward to me sitting in the chair having scalding wax smeared millimeters from my eyeballs. I sat there wondering why I was putting myself through this pain. Is my view of the world so skewed that I think smaller eyebrows will make me irresistible? Am I really so shallow as to torture myself for beauty? Have I finally succumbed to the influence of the evils of Hollywood? Apparently, yes; I�m shallow. Follow my logic: Not having a unibrow makes me feel better about myself, which in turn makes me happier. When I�m happier, I�m a nicer person. When I�m a nicer person, I don�t call people dorks and squash their dreams, then run for the nearest exit. In retrospect, if I had just waxed my eyebrows prior to my last blind date, I could be married and the proud owner of an �82 DeLorean.

Keep in mind; I did all of these things with a brown stain the size of a nickel on my face. Maybe I�m not so shallow.

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