07.25.04
10:55 p.m.
I'm so sexy when I'm sick
It�s apparent that my love life isn�t too exciting right now. Couldn�t possibly be due to my lack of social skills, could it?There I am in aisle three of Safeway looking for some TheraFlu. I was dressed so pretty � Pajama pants, flip-flops, fleece jacket...completely appropriate attire for the mentally insane or someone with the flu/West Nile. Most people avoided me like the plague, which I must admit, I enjoyed. The keyword in that last sentence is most. An obviously very desperate guy wearing a light blue Fubu jumpsuit, red shoes and carrying what I can only describe as a purse, walked up to me smiled and asked if I was sick. Apparently he thought we had the same fashion sense.
Me: �No, actually I enjoy dressing like a whack job and scouring the aisles for flu medication.�
Him: �Ha, ha. I love a girl with a sense of humor.�
Me: �I don�t have a sense of humor; I�m just a bitch when I have a 102 degree fever.�
Him: �Oh, ok.�
This is the part where I continue to search for my TheraFlu and Mr. Fubu follows me down aisle four.
Me: �Are you lost? Do you need me to have the customer service desk page your mommy?�
Him: �Wow, you�re harsh when you�re sick. Are you like this all the time?�
Me: �Most of the time, yes�
Him: �Well, I can handle it. And, I make more money than you can spend...want to come over to my place? I�ll make you feel much better.�
Ok, come on...What did he expect me to say? Sure, I�ll come right over. You�re picking up a sick girl in a grocery store on a Sunday afternoon and flaunting money you probably don�t have, damn that�s hot. Let�s go.
Maybe I�m too selective.
