07.16.04

11:57 p.m.

Fate?

As of today, Iíve decided not to regret anything Iíve done in my life. If I had to do everything over again, Iíd do it all the same. From dropping out, to doing drugs, to getting arrested; everything. That date last week? Yep, the same. The bankruptcy and the debt? Yep, would do it again in a heartbeat. Living with six insanely different people? You bet. The relationship with J? Wouldnít have traded it for the world.

My errors and deviation from the ďnormĒ have made me who I am. A lesson has been taken from each and every experience, and has taught me more than any text book or lecture ever could. Iíve formed views and opinions, biases and preconceptions; Iíve gained the ability to sympathize and empathize. I like who I am, why would I want to be anyone else? I find it hard to imagine where I wouldíve been had I done things differently. All the experiences and friends Iíve made along the way are too much of a precious commodity to give up for a chance to be better.

Iíve resolved to suck up my pride and apologize for the things I can. And though I donít regret the actions themselves, I do feel culpable for the way theyíve made others feel. These mistakes have put me where I am today. I donít enjoy living at home or working for less than Iím worth, but maybe, this is exactly where Iím supposed to be in life.

This second is the culmination of every moment before it. And, you know what...I wouldnít want it any other way.

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