07.16.04
11:57 p.m.
Fate?
As of today, I’ve decided not to regret anything I’ve done in my life. If I had to do everything over again, I’d do it all the same. From dropping out, to doing drugs, to getting arrested; everything. That date last week? Yep, the same. The bankruptcy and the debt? Yep, would do it again in a heartbeat. Living with six insanely different people? You bet. The relationship with J? Wouldn’t have traded it for the world.My errors and deviation from the “norm” have made me who I am. A lesson has been taken from each and every experience, and has taught me more than any text book or lecture ever could. I’ve formed views and opinions, biases and preconceptions; I’ve gained the ability to sympathize and empathize. I like who I am, why would I want to be anyone else? I find it hard to imagine where I would’ve been had I done things differently. All the experiences and friends I’ve made along the way are too much of a precious commodity to give up for a chance to be better.
I’ve resolved to suck up my pride and apologize for the things I can. And though I don’t regret the actions themselves, I do feel culpable for the way they’ve made others feel. These mistakes have put me where I am today. I don’t enjoy living at home or working for less than I’m worth, but maybe, this is exactly where I’m supposed to be in life.
This second is the culmination of every moment before it. And, you know what...I wouldn’t want it any other way.
