07.16.04

11:57 p.m.

Fate?

As of today, I�ve decided not to regret anything I�ve done in my life. If I had to do everything over again, I�d do it all the same. From dropping out, to doing drugs, to getting arrested; everything. That date last week? Yep, the same. The bankruptcy and the debt? Yep, would do it again in a heartbeat. Living with six insanely different people? You bet. The relationship with J? Wouldn�t have traded it for the world.

My errors and deviation from the �norm� have made me who I am. A lesson has been taken from each and every experience, and has taught me more than any text book or lecture ever could. I�ve formed views and opinions, biases and preconceptions; I�ve gained the ability to sympathize and empathize. I like who I am, why would I want to be anyone else? I find it hard to imagine where I would�ve been had I done things differently. All the experiences and friends I�ve made along the way are too much of a precious commodity to give up for a chance to be better.

I�ve resolved to suck up my pride and apologize for the things I can. And though I don�t regret the actions themselves, I do feel culpable for the way they�ve made others feel. These mistakes have put me where I am today. I don�t enjoy living at home or working for less than I�m worth, but maybe, this is exactly where I�m supposed to be in life.

This second is the culmination of every moment before it. And, you know what...I wouldn�t want it any other way.

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