07.14.04

11:25 p.m.

Treadmills and doubts

The first day of classes is soon approaching. With each passing day and required paperwork I turn in, my anxiety grows and I doubt myself even more. Can I really do this? Can I completely uproot my life as I know it and get back into the swing of school? My biggest fear isnít that it will be hard and I wonít like it. Itís this: what if no matter how much effort I put into it or how often I study - I fail. I donít think I could handle the disappointment. This is it; this is my last chance of making something of myself. What if I canít? What if I just donít have it in me? Am I destined to work for little more than minimum wage? Will my ďtalentĒ turn out to be nothing more than an ability to fool others into thinking I have talent?

Iím at a loss for words. This doesnít happen often, so you should probably enjoy it.

So, I pose this question to you: What's the one thing you wish someone would've told you about college before you went - the one thing that would've helped you out the most?

With that, Iím off to bed; I have to get up early and go to the gym before work. Someone indirectly made me feel guilty for missing the past 3 days; someone had to go out and compete in a triathlon while I sat on my lazy ass and smoked a pack of cigarettes. How dare he? Damn athletes.

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