07.12.04
10:05 p.m.
One too many
I currently live in an 850 square foot house with my mother and several furry animals. It has two very small bedrooms and one bathroom. The living room barely fits a couch and loveseat. The kitchen isn’t big enough for a real table, let alone chairs. Overall, it’s pretty cramped.Yesterday, it obtained a new inhabitant.
One of my mother’s friends was evicted from her current living situation and has decided to take up temporary residency at our lovely little abode. It’s purported to only be for a few days. I’m not exactly sure how that’s going to work, seeing as she has no job, is currently (and for the past 3 years) suing the city for an accident she was in on a city bus, and has no means of transportation. Considering I have no say in the situation, I have no choice but to grin and bear it - or move out. If I had no plans for school, I’d be out of this insane asylum in 5 minutes flat, however, I do have plans.
I see only three possible outs to this situation:
1. Marry – quickly.
2. Move out and live in my car – again.
3. Stage an elaborate “suicide by cop”.
Seeing as I have no chance of number one (did you hear about my last date?!), and number two isn’t going to work as well as it did for those 2 months when I was 19, it seems as if number three is my easiest out. I’m planning my eulogy as we speak.
